The One I Let Get Away

My darling, some time has passed and yet the emotions are still swirling and I feel like I am outside of myself. What an experience that was to have shared with you. My feelings are now ready to be released. What a danger zone we have entered. I feel more connected with you now than ever before. This relationship is a beautiful tragedy. No feelings truer or more intense have been felt. The sadness I feel when we are apart is profound and it is as if I have lost a part of myself. I am sick with love for you. I want to be with you in stillness. In silence. Not doing anything together but sharing the same space. I want to know that if I need something I need only to call downstairs and you'll be there. We will never share that. We will never celebrate birthdays, Christmases, Easters together and it makes me very sad. Were it not for what I have I'd be alone. I need you. I want to share my life with you in a public way; have gorgeous little babies with you; all the things I will be denied. I love you nonetheless and it's sad that I would rather have a piece of you than none of you.